azizisbored:

Dear kid that lives next door to Paul,

I’m subletting Paul’s place for a bit and we are temporary neighbors. I woke up this morning at 4:45 am to do a bunch of radio interviews for Human Giant and really wanted to take a quick nap today. But I can’t. Why?

You keep bouncing your god damn basketball. I can’t sleep through that shit bro. Give it a rest.

You don’t even have a hoop! How the fuck can you be that fascinated by bouncing a ball for 45 minutes?! Who the fuck dribbles for 45 minutes?

You’re not even doing complex dribbling, it just sounds like your bouncing the ball up and down and chasing it every now and then.

You suck at dribbling and you will never be good at basketball. Go inside and play basketball on Xbox360 and let me get some fucking sleep!!

Thanks,

Aziz

For all you know this kid just got cut from his J.V. basketball team and his coach told him if he ever wants to make the team he needs to work on his left hand. Despite not making the team and being dumped by his girlfriend, I’m sure he feels great knowing that he has his neighbor’s support.